>You push through the bar door, the autumn chill nipping at your heels >It's ffffffriday night >muthafuckas >And you're going to celebrate the only way you know how >By getting rip-roaring drunk >And having a great time doing it >You stomp right up to the bar and claim a stool >Right next to your best drinking buddy >er, p0ny >mare >Whatever >She's nursing a mug of cider Awww come on Derpy! You started without me >"Whadaya expect me to do, Anon? I can't help it if you're always late!" >You laugh Fair enough >Then you turn and grin at the bartender Barkeep, I'll have the usual >The bartender smiles back at you >Your... rather special requirements are a significant part of what keeps him in business >He reaches under the bar and produces a mug >And a bottle of AppleJack's finest >AppleJack Daniels >The first time you came to this place you tried that cider, yeah >Shit's weak, yo >Way too weak >Even this AppleJack Daniels is weak, compared to the real stuff back home >But that doesn't mean you can't still get drunk off it >So you yank the stopper out of the bottle >And pour yourself a glass So how's your week been, Derpy? >"Ah, the usual. Work's is fun" >She brightens up >"And I only had one job related accident for the whole week!" Derpy, that's great! >"I know, right!" >She takes a swallow of her drink >"What about you, huh? How's your week going?" Oh, you know. Work's a bitch, Lyra won't leave me alone... >you take a slug of liquor The usual >A few more mugs later, and you're well on your way to being toasted >Further into the bar, there's a commotion >Tables and chairs are shoved roughly back against the walls >And a platform is hustled out by strong earth p0nies >They pile speaker after speaker on the edges >Oh no >Then the speakers boom to life >"Alright everyp0ny, I wanna see some dancing right here, right now!" >Then the music kicks in >You look down at Derpy >Derpy looks back up at you >"Come on Anon! Let's dance!" >You sigh and grab your mug, swigging deeply >She grabs your hand with her hoof and drags you off towards the dance floor >You splutter and nearly spray AppleJack's finest everywhere >"Woah Anon, What's the matter?" I cashuwasa... >"You what?" I kanaanpatata... >She stops dragging you and flutters somewhat unsteadily up to eye level >"I can't hear you Anon, what were you saying?" I can't dance, okay? >"So? I can't dance either! You think that's going to stop me from enjoying myself?" she shouts over the music >This friggen mare man >She's right >Either her upbeat, shining attitude is infectious >Or this booze is getting to you more than you realize >You finish off the last of your mug and set it on a convenient table >Either way, you're going to have a good time >You take Derpy by her front hooves and head off towards the dance floor You're right. Let's dance >"Allright, that's what I like to hear!" >You and Derpy hit the dance floor like a sledgehammer >Literally >You wouldn't be surprised if they find holes in the floor tomorrow morning >The music is of the fast paced, techy sort variety where any kind of dancing is acceptable >And your dancing fits the bill >Just barely >You and Derpy spin and pirouette, dart and dash through the crowd, pulling off wild moves that can only be done with a drunk human and a none-too-sober, adventurous pegasus >Sometimes you lead >Sometimes she leads >And sometimes you're not quite sure what's happening >Well, most of the time, actually >You're drawing eyes everywhere >Good eyes, bad eyes >You don't care >You're moving with the music >and it feels good >When your face is red and you find yourself panting, you release Derpy's hooves >And head back over to the bar >There are several dissapointed "Awwwww!"s from the table section of the restaurant >A panting Derpy follows in your wake, taking advantage of the path you clear through the crowd >"Boy Anon, you really know how to show a mare a good time" No I don't >You say, pouring yourself a fresh mug from the bottle still on the bar >"What?" I have no idea what I just did >"Well, whatever it was, I enjoyed it" >good for her >You raise your arm and wave down the bar Hey bartender, can I get a burger over here? I'm famished! >The bartender makes his way down the bar >"Comin' right up" >Then he addresses Derpy >"Anything I can get for you, miss?" >She makes a show of bringing her hoof up to her chin >"mmmmmmm, I'll have the tofu burger" >One burger and a few more mugs later, and you're definitely feeling the buzz >And from the rosy red shade of Derpy's cheeks, so is she >You struggle temporarily for a conversation topic So, how was your burger? >"Tasty, same as always" Good, good... >Christ, this feels like a date >The speakers saves you the trouble of searching for further conversation topics >The music stops, then the mic experiences some ear-rending feedback >Then a mare's voice comes up >"You all know what time it is?" >"NO!" Responds the crowd >"IT'S KARIOKI TIME!" >The crowd issues general roar of approval >Derpy flaps her wings and gets up off her stool Where ya goin'? >"I'm gonna sing! Well good luck to ya then >She flaps her wings and rockets off in the general direction of the stage >One rather bubbly rendition of "Poison" later, and Derpy wobbles her way back over the crowd >She lands rather hard a few feet away from the bar stool, and walks the rest of the distance Ya did good! >"You really think so?" Hell yeah! look out Fleur, here comes Derpy! >She resumes her position at the bar stool >"Heh, thanks Anon. You should get up there" Y'know what? I think I will >You get up off your own stool and head for the stage Wish me luck >"Good luck Anon!" thanks >By the time you get to the stage, a few singers of wildly varying quality have passed >You head have a quick conversation with the mare running the technical booth >Then you head up onto the stage >The crowd quickly quietens at the sight of such a strange creature as it picks up the microphone >"Wasn't he that dancing stallion from earlier?" >"I heard he's from another planet!" Alright mares and gentlestallions >The crowd quietens even further I appreciate this new techno stuff, I really do >You smile But sometimes, you just gotta get back to your roots >You raise your arm SO ARE YOU READY TO MAKE SOME NOISE? >"YEAH!" ALL RIGHT >you wave at the mare, who starts the song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVo8g7T39A4 >The crowd is eating the song right up >Great >You sweep your eyes over it as you sing and gesture >And a smaller knot at the back catches your eye >You resolve to keep an eye on it >A smaller p0ny is in the middle of a semicircle of larger p0nies >He looks cornered >You'll speak up if he's reall- >OH FUCK >To your mounting horror, the p0ny seizes a metal folding chair >The only one in the bar >And heaves it towards the stage >The entire everything stops with the sound of a skipping record as it sails through the air in seeming slow motion >Then it lands, with the squeaky CLANG of doom >All is silent for a microsecond >Then IT BEGINS >"I'm mad!" shouts a particularly angry stallion >then somep0ny throws a punch >And the entire crowd turns into a roiling bar fight >You would love to join in on this bar fight >The urge is almost overwhelming >But you've already used up all your barfight-related injury downtime for the month >You can't afford to get hurt too badly >You're about to make for the door when you remember your drinking buddy >Potential injury or not, you're not leaving Derpy behind >You use your temporarily safe, elevated island in the brawl to peer out to the actual bar itself >Derpy's desperately avoiding the advances of a stallion who looks even drunker than you >She's too drunk to fly >Damnit >You're going to regret this >You plunge off the stage and into the roiling melee >In hindsight, a song about fighting probably wasn't the best one to sing >Oh well >The fighting's not too bad at the moment >It's still gearing up >So you reach the bar with minimal damage >The bartender scoots through the door to the back pushing a cart with the last of the booze, save your bottle on the bar >He kicks it shut behind him and you hear a wooden plank drop across the inside >Shit >That route's closed >Turning your attention to Derpy, you see the stallion almost has her >Not on your watch >You execute a masterful flying butterfly kick on his ass >No >Not really >You do a running jump kick and knock him over, true >But you also land on your ass >Fuck >That's going to bruise >Oh well, no time for that >You spring to your feet as quickly as your body will allow We're getting out of here >Then you seize Derpy under your arm like an oversized football >In your other hand you take the bottle from the bar >You paid for that shit, you're going to finish it >First you take a nice pull straight from the bottle >Then you take off in a footballer's sprint for the door >You dodge >you feint >you jump >you punt >And eventually, through some minor miracle, you reach and make use of the door without major injury to yourself or Derpy >When you're a safe distance from the bar, you stop and set Derpy down >She wobbles for a moment, then sits down on her haunches >"Tha wash one hell of a fight! How'd it get schtarted?" >Damn, she must have had a lot more than you thought while you were up on the stage Metal folding chair >"Ah. That trick never failsh." >There's a brief pause, which you utilize to take another pull from the bottle >"Well, I'll shee you around, Anon" >She gets up more than a little unsteadily and flaps her wings Wait >She stops >"Whasha matter?" You're in no condition to be flying, you can hardly walk >The walleyed mare snorts >"You're not much better yourshelf" Yeah, but I don't live in the clouds, now do I? >"nooo...." Come on, you can stay at my place tonight >"Thanksh Anon" >Your assumption proves to be true, as half way back to your house Derpy wobbles, then almost falls over >You consider the bottle in your hand >Eh >It's empty anway >You pitch it off into the woods and pick her up >"Woah!" Chill, I got you >"I wash getting tired anyway..." >You give a mental shrug and continue your journey >She's surprisingly light >Must have something to do with flying all the time >A few minutes later, and you're at your house >You stumble through the front door and place Derpy on the couch >Then you sit down next to her in companionable silence >You'd get up and go to your own room >But you're really tired at the moment >So you choose to remain on the couch next to Derpy >"Anon, I like you" >Christ, that was straight out of the clear blue sky Well sure Derpy, I like you too >"You're one of the only p0nehs... people... whatever. You treat me like a real p0neh. You don't look at me funny becaush of my eyesh" >Derpy shifts over and leans up against your left side, resting her head on your shoulder >"Anon, I LIKE like you You like like me... >"Yeah. I do" >Oh >Well this is an interesting development >One you're having trouble caring too much about at the moment >You're just so tired >And warm, with Derpy practically laying on you >You could fall asleep right here... >A light snore to your left tells you this is exactly what Derpy has done >And you don't see any reason why you shouldn't get to as well...