And now for something completely different--the first greentext story I ever wrote on 4chan.  Unlike most of the other stories, this was written "on-the-fly", as opposed to being thought out; I sort of made it up as I went along.  Enjoy...

STOOGES IN EQUESTRIA (March 16, 2012)

>"Oh, Twilight," Fluttershy enters the library.
>"Yes?" Twilight asks, looking up from the book she was reading.
>"Um, I found more humans. Like Anon, but different..."
>"More? How many more?"
>"Umm, three." Fluttershy turns and calls out the door, "You can come in now..."
>Three humans, shorter than Anon and dressed in somewhat older clothes, try to enter the door at once.
>They don't fit.
>They try again.
>They still don't fit.
>"Recede!" the middle one with the bowl haircut says, and enters the library.
>The one with the shaven head gestures for the frizzy-haired one to go ahead.
>The shaven one enters last, but does not duck and knocks his head against the doorframe.
>He reels a bit, then turns and... barks... at the door frame.
>"Hello... hello... hello..." They sing.

>"Er, hello," Twilight replies, a little uncertainly.
>All three appear startled. "Look fellas, another talking horse," says the shaven-headed one.
>Twilight bristles. "Actually, we're ponies."
>"You heard the yellow one, didn't cha? What are you, ignorant?" the bowl-cut one demands of his companion, slapping him in the face.
>The shaven-headed one one waves his hand back and forth in front of bowl-cut, then raises his hand up in the air and barks at him.
>Bowl-cut responds by making a V with two fingers and jabbing them at shave-heads eyes.
>Shave-head blocks with his hand. "Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk," and sticks his tongue out at bowl-cut.
>Bowl-cut punches him in the chin, causing him to bite his tongue.
>Frizz-head points and laughs at this, but stops abruptly when bowl-cut eye-pokes him.
>"STOP THAT!" Twilight yells, losing patience with this quickly.
>Even Anon never acted so gracelessly in front of ponies.

>"You heard the lady, act like gentlemen!" Says bowl-cut.
>"Gentlemen!" Shout the other two in enthusiastic agreement. All three adopt theatrically thoughtful poses.
>At least they're quiet now.
>"My name is Twilight Sparkle."
>"Enchanted," says bowl-cut.
>"Enraptured," says frizzy-head.
>"Embalmed," says shaven-head. Bowl-cut smacks him in the back of the head.
>"Please!!" Twilight yelps, hoping to forestall another fight. "What are your names?"
>"I'm Moe," says bowl-cut.
>"I'm Larry," says frizzy-head.
>"I'm hungry," says shaven head.
>Moe slaps him in the head again. "Didn't you hear the pony? Introduce yourself!"
>Shaven-head bristles at Moe. "Why I oughtta..."
>Moe places his fists on his hips and stares down his associate. "You oughtta what?"
>Shaven-head seems to deflate.  "I oughtta introduce myself. Hi, I'm Curly." He gives Twilight a little wave.
>Twilight, seizing on one thing she can make sense of, asks Fluttershy to go get Pinkie Pie to bring the humans something to eat.
>As Fluttershy leaves, Spike comes downstairs.
>"Whoa, more of them? Who're these guys?" he asks.
>"A talking lizard!" Larry exclaims.
>Spike bristles. "Dragon!"
>Moe grabs Larry's nose with one hand and smacks his hand. Larry yelps and clutches his abused nose.
>"Mind your manners," Moe admonishes him.
>Facehoof.jpg

>Twilight has questions and needs answers.
>"How did you get here?" she asks.
>The three humans look at each other in apparent confusion.
>They go into a huddle.
>They whisper amongst themselves.
>They come out of the huddle.
>Moe opens his mouth to speak.
>"We don't know," says Curly.
>Moe bops him in the stomach, causing him to double over.
>Moe follows up by slapping him in the head.
>"Listen you!" yelps Curly in evident irritation.
>Twilight finds herself wishing that whatever random inter-dimensional hole is causing this would dry up already.
>"Do you have to do that EVERY BUCKING TIME I ASK YOU A QUESTION?" She yells.
>She immediately blushes at her own language.
>"We could do this instead," Larry offers, launching into a soft-shoe dance and spouting nonsense words.
>"A-voo-voo-voo-voo! Razz-a-matazz..."
>Moe ends Larry's performance by stomping on his foot.
>Enough is enough. Twilight whispers into her assistant's ear.
>"Spike, go get Applejack. Quickly. Tell her to bring her lassos."
>"I'm on it!" Spike salutes and runs out the door.
>"Now, please, relax," Twilight tries to end the scuffle that has broken out. They ignore her
>More volume needed.
>"I said, relax!"
>The fight pauses, the three humans looking at her, while still prepared to strike.
>Volume at 11.
>"I SAID RELAX!"
>Not a bad imitation of the Royal Canterlot Voice.
>The three humans fall over on their backs.
>"Not that relaxed!"
>They scramble to their feet again.
>At least Twilight has their attention.
>She thinks, trying to pick words that won't result in another fight...

>Maybe if she indulged their curiosity.
>"So, do you have any questions for me?" Twilight asks brightly.
>"How long is a Chinaman?" asks Curly.
>Moe slaps him.
>"Does ice cream have bones?" asks Larry.
>Moe slaps him.
>"I meant," Twilight growls, "do you have any PERTINENT questions?"
>"Yeah! Where's the food? I'm still hungry..." Curly says.
>Facehoof.png
>Twilight's mane is starting to look a mess.
>"Oh, you're hungry, eh?" says Moe.
>"Yeah, I haven't had a bite all day!"
>Moe places his fists on his hips again.
>"Is that so?"  Curly nods.
>Moe seizes one of Curly's hands and bites his finger.
>"Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo!" Curly exclaims.
>Larry unwisely attempts to intervene.
>"Hey, leave him alone, he's only hungry."
>"Shuddup," Moe grabs a handful of Larry's frizzy hair. "We're all hungry."
>Cue Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy.
>Pinkie Pie has brought a cart-full of food with her.
>A cart full of pies.
>"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie. Fluttershy told me someone here was hungry! I brought extra, so we could have a Welcome-To-Equestria Party!"

You hear that sound? The approaching train-wreck?

>"Oh boy, eats!" Exclaims Curly joyously.He picks up a pie.
>Moe takes it away from him and puts it back on the cart.
>"Mind your manners, we haven't been asked yet."
>"But I'm starving!'
>"Don't worry," says Pinkie Pie, "I brought plenty for everyone!"
>Moe turns around and Curly quietly picks up another pie behind his back.
>"Oh GOSH!," Pinkie exclaims, her eyes lighting up, "There's THREE of you this time?"
>"Unfortunately..." Twilight grumbles, grinding her teeth.
>"Wow, this is EXTRA-SUPER-DUPER SPECIAL then! I'm gonna go get my Welcome Wagon!"
>With that, Pinkie zips out of the library in a pink blur.
>Moe finally notices Curly nibbling on his pie.
>"Mind your manners I said,"
>He hits the pie from below, flipping it up into Curly's face.
>"Hey! I was eating that!"
>"Oh were you?" says Moe.
>"Yeah!"
>"Well here," Moe picks up a pie, "have another!" He throws the pie at Curly.
>Curly ducks.
>Pie sails cleanly over his head.
>Direct hit on Twilight Sparkle.
>Status of Twilight's jimmies: RUSTLED.
>Mane completely frizzy now.

>"Hey, stop that," says Larry, "You're wasting the food!"
>"Oh yeah?" says Moe.
>Moe picks up another pie and goes to throw it at Larry.
>Larry covers his face with his hands and crouches down.
>Moe crouches down next to him.
>"Oh, Larry," says Moe.
>Larry uncovers his face. "Yes?"
>Moe shoves the pie into Larry's face.
>Moe stands back up.
>Curly has acquired another pie, and pushes it into Moe's face.
>Cue Rarity.
>"Darling, I heard we had some more visitors!"
>Larry throws a pie at Moe.
>Moe dodges the pie.
>Pie scores direct hit on Rarity.
>"Oh... It. Is. ON!"
>Rarity magics a pie into the air with her horn and propels it at Larry.
>Larry dodges the pie.
>Twilight Sparkle, has just finished cleaning pie out of her eyes.
>Ker-SPLAT!
>Rustling jimmies reach critical mass.
>Twilight Sparkle evolves into Rapidash...
>"I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!"
>Twilight magics several pies into the air.
>Shit just got real.

>Pies, pies everywhere.
>The library floor is now a slippery, gooey mess.
>Discord would have been mightily proud and shed many a manly tear if he could see this.
>Applejack runs up outside the library carrying Spike on her back and three lassos.
>Pinkie Pie arrives outside the library at the same time, Welcome Wagon (patent pending) in tow.
>Utter bedlam inside the library.
>"Land sakes!  What in tarnation is going on inside there sugar cube?"
>"Oh, three more humans showed up!  Like Anon, only shorter.  And sillier."  Pinkie Pie giggles.
>"Now how am I going to get my Welcome Wagon through the door?"
>A loud crash and Twilight's frantic yelling are heard inside the library.
>"Let's go Applejack,” says Spike, “Twilight sounds pretty ticked off in there!"
>"Alright pardner," Applejack replies.
>They enter the war zone formerly known as the Ponyville Library.
>Both are instantly pied.
>Applejack wipes pie off her face.
>She grabs one of her lassos.
>"Alright, that's it!  Party's over!"
>She plunges into the fray.
>In a short time, she has subdued and tied up all three of the strange humans.
>Fluttershy, having avoided being covered in pie by the simple expedient of hiding under Twilight's bed, cools Twilight off by upending a bucket of water over her.
>Twilight plops onto her rump and stares, aghast, at the gigantic mess in the library.

>Twilight sets her jaw, stands up and marches over to the three tied up humans.
>"I have just one thing to say to you clowns..."
>Twilight draws back one hoof and slaps all three of them in the head with one stroke.
>"Applejack, please get these knuckleheads OUT OF MY LIBRARY!!"
>"You got it Twi."
>Applejack starts to drag them to the door.
>CRASH!
>Everyone, pony and human, looks at the source of the noise.
>Pinkie Pie has brought in the Welcome Wagon by using the same (formerly-patched-up) entrance made by Tom several months ago.
>She grins like a maniac, and holds up one hoof.
>"Pinkie, NO!" cries Twilight Sparkle.
>Too late.
>Pinkie smacks a large red button on the side of her wagon.
>Wagon shudders.
>Flags wave, horns toot, music begins.
>"Welcome, welcome, welcome..."

And now, gentle reader, we shift our POV back outside the library.

>As the fanfare ends, cake batter suddenly bursts from every door, window and hole in the Library tree.
>Inside, five ponies, one dragon, and three humans sit in the middle of what is probably the tastiest scene of devastation ever in Equestria's history.
>Everyone, human, pony and dragon, is covered in cake batter.
>"I really should label those loading chutes..."

EPILOGUE

>Evening in Ponyville.
>Anon returns from exploring with his best bro (and more), Rainbow Dash.
>See lights still on in Library.
"Wow, Twilight is really burning the midnight oil. Must be studying something important."
>"Yeah," says Rainbow with a grimace, "Like the life-cycle of Equestrian butterflies or something."
>Decide to pay her a visit.
>Step into library, and without even bothering to look around,
"Hey Twilight! Did anything interesting happen while I was away exploring today?"
>Five grumpy ponies and one grouchy dragon look up from their cleaning.
"What the ever-loving fuck happened in here?"
>Both you and Rainbow Dash get pied multiple times.


Dear Princess Celestia,

Some human customs are very, very strange.  Beyond my comprehension, even.  I don't think I will be able to so much as look at a pie for at least a month.

On a related note, please ask the Royal Canterlot Magical Research Academy to hurry up on that inter-dimensional spell they were working on to send Anon back home.

Don't worry, it's not for Anon.  Details to follow.

Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
(http://youtu.be/QabgfbnCJ6Y)