>you are Joey >its been a few days since Rick used the lemon on Grimace and made Agua eat his shit >now you’re nursing his newest victim >Hans was trying to make a fluffy version of Colgate but the stallion refused to cooperate >Hans went to the limit of his disciplinary skills which was the “sorry stick” but the fluffy was stubborn >you told Hans to go to you first with any fluffy problems but you were sadly in town getting lunch with Hailey >so with no other options he turned to Rick >all the pregnant dams and mares with foals in the breeding rooms began to whimper and hide their foals behind them when Rick entered >he offered the stallion one warning but it still blew a raspberry at him >Rick being a master of fluffy torture went out to his van and retrieved four flat head thumb tacks >he found a soft skin part on each hoof and pushed the thumb tack in >to a human it would hurt but only enough to make us say ow, by fluffy standards its like nails in our feet >the fluffy shrieked in pain but the worst came when he placed it on the floor >it hopped around from hoof to hoof throughout the breeding room and the whole pen room shrieking “why hoofsies owies? Why hoofsies huwt fwuffy?! Pwease hoofsies, fwuffy sowwy!” >Rick removed the tacks only after the fluffy promised to mate the mare >you now sit with the injured fluffy whimpering in your lap with its hooves in the air >you apply small amounts of disinfectant and then a band aid to each area >you stroke his mane for a bit then ask if he’s feeling better >he nods and you give him a hug then return him to his pen >the door opens and you see your boss Mark standing there >”Rick do something?” he ask “yeah, nothing I couldn’t handle” >”well good, no need for broken tools” he says “why do you let Rick do this? >”Rick doesn’t kill them Joey, not here at least, I’d fire him in a second if he killed one of our handpicked breeders or a customer’s order. But these things need discipline, otherwise I have no use for them.” >Mark doesn’t hate fluffies, but he doesn’t like them either. >he started this business all on his own, says he bought the building for just a $100 from the landowner and spent only $150 more setting up the facility >now he makes a pretty lucrative living off of special orders and pretty, well behaved fluffies >Mark ran the place by himself for 2 years until he hired you and Rick on the same day >you didn’t like Rick then either >now Mark sits in his office taking care of paper work and training the special orders >”speaking of which have you seen Rick?” he asks “he stepped out for a smoke” >”ah alright, talk to ya later Joey” he says closing the door >you and hailey care about the guys, Hans is like Mark and is just in it for the money >Though Hans actually does take a lot of pride in his breeding, and he is amazing at it >you really cant wait to see how this cutie mark crusaders order turns out >Hans is also a brony, he monitors all pony boards to see of any new developments >the thing that really makes the business is when people want a fluffy of their “OC pony” >Mark charges them $100 for an OC and his usual extra $50 for potty and manners training, also $20 if they want his patented “My First Fluffy” kit >Hans then looks at a picture of their OC the gets to work, surprisingly he is 95% of the time successful, its incredible how he does it >he often helps Rick with rounding up strays to see if their fit for breeding >which is probably why Mark was looking for him >you are Rick >smoking a cig wishing your job didn’t suck while Hans crouches next to you on his phone listening to music >you hear the front door opens and you see Mark step out >”hey Rick, got a call of a herd downtown. You and Hans head down and take care of it” “You got it Rick” >You finish your cig and tap Hans on the shoulder and head for your van >you arrive at the spot where you got the call, and old run down factory >this palce is rarely used so you don’t know why the city called it in and but don’t care, its fluffy time >you go to the last known location and follow the scattered turds from there >you cant drive any further and cant leave the van behind so you return to the street and drive looking down the alleys >Hans pats you on the shoulder and you see them, chewing on some grass growing up through the sidewalk between two building >roughly twenty of them >you back the van up to the front of the alley and you and Hans hop out >you only need 4 things, 2 fences and two boxes >the fences are those “kid fences” that parents put in doorways to keep their babies or toddlers from getting out of a room >you bought a whole lot more and connected them so they could stretch across an alley >Hans grabs on and takes off for the other side of the alley >the fluffies noticed the van backing up but instead of running they formed their typicals barrier to protect their mares and foals >Hans leaps the herd and sets up the barrier behind them while you set yours up just behind the van >now to find the… >”Go ‘way munstas! Dis smawty’s hewd!” >Found him, a purple unicorn with a pink mane >you look behind Hans and see an open dumpster “Hey Hans, what’s in that dumpster?” >Hans takes a quick jog back to the dumpster and replies “broken glass” >perfect >in you van of fluffy hell you take out a bottle of lemon juice and one of those giant salt container things (fuck I don’t know their name, the Morton salt things) “Hey Hans, do me a favor and pour these in there” >you toss the two items and he looks at them, gives a “yikes!” look and does as you asked >he dashes back over and returns them to you >”smawty gif biggest ouchies if munstas no- AHH!!” he shrieks as you pick him up by his horn >you hold him like a football (‘merican style) and judge the distance >50 yards maybe, not hard, you weren’t starting quarterback 2 years in a row for nothing >”pwease no huwt fwuffy! Fwuffy sowwy! Be gud! Pwease no EEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!” he cries as he flies through the air >he soars until he hits the lid propped against the wall with an “ouchies” then falls into the bin >after about 3 seconds you hear glass shifting as the smarty thrashes around screaming “OWWIES! HUWTIES! BAD HUWTIES! SMAWTY SOWWY! PWEASE SAVE SMAWTY! AHHHH!!!!!” >eventually the lid falls down on the bin and his creams become muffled >his whole herd is in shock, shaking and whimpering/murmuring with fright “Anyone else wanna join him?” >they turn to you with fear in their eyes “I didn’t think so, Hans you’re up” >you pick up the first fluffy and hand it to Hans >he does his regular check, first comes colors, are they attractive, bright, catchy, do they bear any resemblance to any MLP ponies? >if they pass appeal then comes health: eyes, teeth, fluff, age, injuries, diseases >the ones who pass goes in Mark’s box, rejects go in your box >the first one is lucky, and goes in your box >”Color scheme is unattractive and she’s missing her two front teeth” is Hans diagnosis, handing the fluffy to you, which you quickly drop in your box >Hans picks up another fluffy, who lets out and “owwies!” >these things are pussies but that was a yelp of physical pain >Hans puts it down and watches it return to the herd >an obvious limp in its back right foot >Hans picks it back up resulting in another “owwies!” as he begins to feel the fluffys back-right side >”Feels like two broken lower ribs and upper right leg break as well. While the mane is a good shade of shamrock I see no use for this one” he says handing it to you >you drop it in your box with an audible crack, followed by the biggest OWWIES yet >Hans then picks up a mare, bright pink with a dark blue mane >he checks her health and she passes >another step with mares is you have no clue if they’ve been knocked up recently or not, since they don’t begin to show for at least a week and a ½ -2 weeks >from his bag he takes out a fluffy pregnancy test from Hasbio called “fiwst wesponse” smart ass bastards >Hans holds the mare by her stomach region and the test under her, giving her a gentle squeeze and an “ouchies” from her the mare begins to pee >after 20 seconds the result is in “she’s bred” he says >Hans stares at her for almost half a minute rubbing his chin until he says “she’s in good health and has a good color scheme, at least one of her foals will be worth something” >he hands you the fluffy and you gently put her in Mark’s box >you hear a something that catches your attention >not a fluffy noise but almost a jingle >its coming from a light blue fluffy with a mint green mane >she cowers as you reach for her >you gently scoop her up and brush her neck fluff away >sure enough a bell collar, with a number on it, to a ms. Pam Iverson “hey Hans, keep going we got an escapee here” >you can tell because most abandoners take the collar off, so no one can return it to them >you call the number and her a woman’s voice on the other end “hello?” “Ms. Iverson? This is Rick Sampson, I work for the Fluff Shack breeding company. I have her a fluffy with a collar with your name and number on it” >”oh thank God, you found Minty! Oh thank you so much, where are you? Should I meet you somewhere?” “That’s not necessary ma’am your address is on the collar, we’ll stop by in about 30 minutes and drop her off” >”thank you so much! Thank you!” “Its no trouble miss, we’ll be there soon” >you hang up and reach into your lunchbox >you pull out a cookie and place in in front of minty in the back of your van “stay still, and you don’t get hurt” >after 20 minutes only 7 of about 20 fluffies passed the test >13 whimpering fluffies sit in your bin, unaware of their soon to be fate >you drive to Minty’s owners home to drop her off >the woman, about your average fresh out of college babe, is overjoyed at her return >you refuse a reward and go on your way, its good for PR >you stop by your apartment complex before you go back >and by your apartment complex it really is YOUR apartment complex >you own the whole building expect no one besides you lives there, you and about 50 fluffies >a building that could hold about 6 people has been completely cleared except your bedroom >all other room hold cages that hold fluffies >you walk upstairs with your box of rejects to the main room >a room with about a 15 foot ceiling and is about the size of a boxing ring >with a 10 foot high octagon in the middle >you pour your bin of rejects into a cage and walk back to the van >you cant wait for tonights fluffy matches with the guys