659_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "AJ" ~~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but we've been relegated to posting by mobile! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK!!! Applause "Howdilly bibiddy boo." >Have you ever had organ problems? "...sort of. Ya see this one time me and mah cousin Peach were staying at a hotel and found a guy who's organs were getting harvested." >Oh boy. "We knocked the thief out, but we were scared that the other guy was going to die without his kidney, so we did the sensible thing and operated on him ourselves." >YOU WHAT!?! "We were kids trying to get cutie marks at the time. Anyway, we actually did manage to put his kidney back in, but he woke up when we were stitching him back up and started screaming. Then cousin peach started screaming because he jammed the needle into her cheek and Ah' started screaming because Ah' didn't want to feel left out." >Uh that's all the time we have right now, but I'll see you next time! AJ wakes up. "...Ah' still say Ah' could have been a good surgeon." 660_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Sunset" ~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but I need to get this out in a timely matter! Now for our main guest...SUNSET SHIMMER! APPLAUSE "...why am I here?" >It's because the surgery failed and you're dead! Welcome to Tartarus! "WHAT?!" >Yeah it was pretty bad. We finally had a chance to look into you and even got a legendary surgeon to come by and perform a never done before surgery. Unfortunately, there were a sequence of events that made us think you were alive when we found your body. It was Weekend at Bernie's level of misunderstanding when we partied with you. You partied super duper hard for a corpse! "I...Wha...but...Wait why are you here?" >I'm the new gatekeeper of Tartarus! "HOW?!" >Thanks to new advances in TWIENCE, we can now visit souls! Applejack worked tirelessly in an attempt to get you back and also assigned me here! "Aw that's so...unlikely. Like really? They assigned you?" >Nah, I'm just messing with you. You're still asleep. That's all the time we have right now! Tune in next time when I catch my next victim who's asleep! "...I have so many levels of what." 661_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "AJ" ~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but apparently writers can get really inspired when there's no internet! Now for our main guest...APPLEJACK! APPLAUSE "Howdy." >Congratulations you've finally escaped by dying! "...what?" >You've died and gone to tartarus. My real name is Pinkie DIE and I'm your grim reaper. As your bestest friend, I'm here to send you off with a smile! "...Ah' feel like this is something Ah' would have been told about...but Ah'm not even going to question it because at least Ah'm finally free." >Just kidding, you're just asleep. There's no escape and you won't remember this at all! Cue waking up in 3-2-1. AJ wakes up. "...damn." 662_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Twi" ~~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and I can delay my own story if I feel like it! "Why do you keep doing that?" >It's important, but so is this! Think Twi! Don't you know any mind magic or anything? "I know some, but I don't feel comfortable using a spell I haven't practiced. I wrote them into a book, but they're not exactly here. Maybe if I could wake up a for a bit, I could refer-" >Nope nope, that's a uh...not a good idea. Discord would be free. We're going to need to finish this in one go. "How did Rarity's shadow leave her body?" >She was just done, so she willingly left her body...melted because she was cardboard and the bathroom floor was wet. "...any chance that could happen to your's." >Nope, pretty sure that's not going to happen. "Hm...wait, I might have an idea. We have to try it...for TWIENCE!" A lightning bolt goes off in the background. "...wait what?" >Special effects. 663_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Sunset" ~~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and I'm on a roll! Now for our main guest...SUNSET SHIMMER! "Yeah...still here. I never actually left." >It's because you're still asleep! "What do we do now then?" >Weeeell I was suppose to continue my own non-canon plotline, but it's non-canon, so I'd be happy to delay for you, so we can hang out! Pinkie hugs Sunset. >You're my new bestie! "...I'm suddenly full of regrets." >We were friends in equestria girls and we're still friends now! Feel my love! Pinkie rubs cheeks with Sunset. "...on second thought this isn't so bad." 664_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Sunset" ~~~~~ >Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and I'm making time for a special friend! Now for our main segment...PINKIE'S DREAMHOUSE WITH SUNSET SHIMMER! Applause "I really appreciate this." >Of course, it's what best friends are for! "I never thought I'd see human porn again. Surprise surprise." She flips a page of a porno magazine. >Yup yup, my porn room is full of magical wonders! "Whoa, this one has pony-human action...I'd like a taste of what she's having." >How about a taste of my pie then? Sunset slightly blushes. "Pinkie, I uh...I didn't know that-" Pinkie takes out a pie. >It's blackberry pie! It was extra from pi day! "Oooh...oh." Pinkie grins mischievously. >You seem disappointed. Was somepony expecting a different kind of pie? "No no, I mean, the way you said it- I thought you...uh." >Maaaybe I did mean a different kind of pie. Would you like a taste of my...cherry pie? "..." Sunset slowly raises her porno magazine to her face. >You're fun to tease! 665_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Twilight " ~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but let me blow your mind! Now for our main guest...TWILIGHT!!! "Have you heard of the Ship of Pea Seedius?" >I'm usually the one to ask the question on the show, but no. Educate us Twilight! "It's a thought experiment. Consider this...we're trying to preserve a wooden ship. Eventually the boards will rot and need to be replaced. If enough time passes, all the boards will be replaced. Is it still fundamentally the same ship?" >...Huh. "Now consider this...the cells in your body die and will get replaced with new cells. Eventually all your cells get replaced and you'd have a new body. Would you still be Pinkie or an entirely different Pinkie? If you're the same Pinkie throughout then where's the line drawn for a different Pinkie? Likewise if you say you're a different Pinkie is there anyway to retain an identity? Is there ever a definite Pinkie? >...whoa. Pinkie gets a little color for a moment. "...huh." >What? "...we should try it again. cut~~~ "It's the theory of how there's no singular version of ourselves. We're a bundle of properties of ourselves." >...explain. 666_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Sunset" ~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but I hope you're wearing green! Now for our main segment...PINKIE'S DREAMHOUSE WITH SUNSET SHIMMER!!! Applause "Woohoo!" Sunset rides a roller coaster with Pinkie. >Welcome to my wild ride! Hope you're enjoying yourself because you deserve some fun! "Thank you, Pinkie. I'll always remember this." >...you won't. "...what?" >...it doesn't necessarily mean it never happened though. Here comes the loop de loop! >"Weeee!" >I know things seem like it sucks for you right now, but when you wake up you're going to feel more alive than you've ever been! "No offense Pinkie, but I don't have much hope any-" Pinkie's lips meet with Sunset's. Sunset feels the sensation of air filling up her lungs before disappearing into thin air. >...I give you the Pinkie Breath of Life. May things go better this time around. I'll be watching. The roller coaster enters a cave and there's broken tracks in the way. >Just like the My Little Pony game on mobile. Download it now and play! The coaster jumps and Pinkie collects some coins. 667_______________________________________________________________________________________ Non-Canon >Pinkie "Cadence" 'DT' [Sunset] ~~~~ >Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but my writer felt compelled to put this in, so this is a bonus! "I'm the pretty one <3" 'I'm the grumpy one.' >And I'm the crazy one! I brought someone special to join us this time. [Hello.] "Oh...her." [Ah...Princess Cadence...] '...who is this and why should we care?' [Ouch...I guess no one important really.] >She's a special friend of mine and I want to help cheer her up! "...she caused a big mess in the Crystal Empire. I'd rather not." [Yeah, I understand if I'm not wanted.] 'Pinkie, you can't keep bringing strays into the club like Applejack.' [Ugh, *CENSORED* Applejack.] 'You know maybe she's not so bad. Let's give her a chance. Sunset seems to have worthwhile opinions' >Hey hey, let's not spread the hate around. We need to bring in some good vibrations.You know what I mean? Be shining Pinks. "She's not Pink." 'So she's not pink.' [It's not like Pink is everything.] >"'*gaaaasp*'" [...that uh...that sounded different in my head.] >"'...'" [I'm uh...I'm just gonna go.]